So as it turns out, blogging requires some level of mental presence, who woulda thunkit, eh? The last few weeks I have been coping with some pretty fun tooth issues. Ones that are extremely painful, and more than a little distracting. While they have been going on most of my adult life they have come to a bit of head in terms of needing to be dealt with. Due in good part to previous eating disorders and a healthy dose of bad teeth genetics I will more than likely be getting partial dentures in the next few months, so on occasion I may slip away into a semi non-existent state of being. I’m going to give it my best shot not to phone it in here though, because this is important for me, and hey blogging about my insecurities always seems to help me find other people dealing with similar things, and I’m a serious sucker for community.
So for what it’s worth, I am still present, just juggling the process of becoming an even better me with several different levels of health, and that makes a pretty great transition into steering away from where I have been into where I am going!
So for better or worse fad diet exists and I, typically, have a few rules when it comes to them. First, I have to be intelligent about how the restriction of any diet will affect me because of my dubious history with all things food. Second, this is mostly personal (and probably petty) I hate diets with names; Paleo, Keto, Atkins, blah blah blah. I hate it. It’s not a fair loathing by any means, it’s a hold over from a history spent jumping from fad diet to fad diet, and growing up with the women (and only the women) around me doing the same thing. (Did anyone else’s mom have shelves full of those pre-bought diet meals? The ones that you know probably could have funded a new car for your petulant 16 year old ass. The ones that no one could stick to because the food is always gross?) So now I have this overwhelming mistrust of them. Unfortunately, I also really like a challenge.
I had been thinking for awhile that I needed a change so when my pal Riley mentioned thinking about doing Whole30 for the month of May I started looking into it. I recognize that this kind of diet appeals to some of my BPD sensibilities, an all or nothing mentality makes things interesting when you enter into an elimination based diet, but I wanted something like this. Something that professes to cure me of my All-American sugar addiction, my dependency on all things carb related, and if it could cure me of the chronic headaches I seem to get and give me more energy on top of that? Well that sounds like a party.
Except for the part where you aren’t dumping spoonfuls of sugar into your morning coffee, or hearing the comforting pop of a can of Dr. Pepper, or probably worst so far, bread. Just bread.
In case you aren’t familiar here is a quick summary of the basic rules of this diet, trust me there are a lot of exceptions and weird rules, but the basics are as follows.
- No dairy, grains, legumes, or sugar (including sugar subs, ie. Stevia, agave, honey). Also no alcohol or tobacco products.
- Eat almost exclusively meat, vegetables, fruit and fats.
- Don’t mess up, and if you do start over.
- Don’t step on the scale.
Now if you check out Riley’s post on Whole30 you’ll see a really solid list of issues that both of us have with the tone of the website, so I won’t reiterate how frustrating I find the smarmy voice the author uses, especially right now, on day three of the program.
SO WHATS GOING ON?!
I am currently entering day 4 of the Whole30 and it has already been a wild ride. I can safely assure you that I will be stepping on the scale. Not because I just don’t care about their rules, but because I have issues with food and body image and if I want to see what I weigh while I do all this other stuff that my body already hates, I’m not putting it through the extra anxiety of breaking my scale habits right now. I’m going to try and not do it every day, but once a week? That’s just my reality right now. Aside from that, there hasn’t been any major slip up, which I attribute mostly to the fact that I am doing this with a buddy and if you have someone who will endure this with you, I wholeheartedly suggest it.
So I have lost some weight already, in two days I dropped two pounds. I may or may not maintain that level of loss, but still, it was nice to see that the hangover like symptoms I dealing with are made up for somewhere.
I am eating better. I am much more focused on vegetables than I have been in awhile and I’m not drinking one or two soda’s a day so there isn’t much I can complain about there.
I haven’t been so wiped out that I couldn’t manage my run yesterday, in fact I ran further and faster than I have so far while running. (It had only been two runs before that, so I wouldn’t use that as conclusive data)
Holy withdrawal headaches! There just isn’t any getting around it, day two was miserable, and most of day three wasn’t much better. I had trouble sleeping because of headaches. I woke up with a throbbing brain. Moving made me want to die, and the sounds that leave my two children’s mouths?
I am tired, just so incredibly tired. I-have-meant-to-write-this-blog-post-for-three-days levels of tired. Sit on my couch and stare at nothing while I play mindless phone games tired. That is getting better today too.
Here’s a tip, coffee without sugar is gross. And as it turns out, not even the migraine caused, in part, by caffeine withdrawal was enough to get me to drink more than a sip of it. Thankfully my friends rallied and we found a solution together. Bulletproof Coffee (instead of ghee, which I don’t have, or butter I have simply been using coconut oil and it does the job). It’s not my favorite thing in the entire world, but it’s 100% better than drinking the bitter bean water you coffee purists love.
All in all, it’s 2 AM, and all the sudden I have too much energy to sleep. I still feel excited about what is happening, about the amount of good habits I am building. I can’t promise that this diet is the end all be all, but for me it’s having some positive results and I’m pleased with where it’s headed. Keep your fingers cross for me as I step out of the hangover phase and into the blinding rage phase (or maybe cross them for my husband and children that have to deal with me.)